Telling my Mormon Bishop I had kissed a man #lds #mormon #altterdaysaints #gay #exmormon

When a Bishop's Pastoral Response Contradicts Doctrine: One Man's Experience Telling His Mormon Bishop About Kissing Another Man

For many Latter-day Saints navigating same-sex attraction within the framework of official Church teaching, few moments carry more weight than disclosing such experiences to ecclesiastical leadership. The question of whether, and how, to confess intimate same-sex contact to a bishop remains deeply fraught for LGBTQ+ members and those questioning their sexuality. According to accounts shared on the Mormon Stories Podcast, one returning missionary's experience telling his Mormon bishop he had kissed a man produced an unexpected pastoral response that diverged markedly from what Church doctrine would suggest, raising important questions about the gap between institutional policy and individual pastoral discretion.

This account illuminates a critical tension in contemporary Mormonism: the distance between official guidance and the lived experience of members seeking spiritual counsel around sexuality.

Background: The Confessional Bind for LGBTQ+ Mormons

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has long maintained that same-sex behavior constitutes a serious transgression requiring confession and repentance. Official handbooks for bishops and stake presidents classify sexual relations between people of the same sex alongside fornication and adultery as moral infractions demanding ecclesiastical intervention.

For young members, particularly those recently returned from two-year missions, the pressure to maintain moral cleanliness remains intense. Returning missionaries occupy a unique spiritual position in the Church's culture. They have sacrificed two years of their young adulthood in service, creating expectations of exceptional worthiness upon homecoming.