Mormon Church taught me it was wrong to be sexual #lds #mormon #feminism

The Doctrine of Restraint: How Mormon Theology Shaped Sexual Identity and Agency

For many who grew up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the phrase "sexual purity" carried weight far beyond religious instruction. It defined boundaries not just around behavior, but around identity itself. The tension between taught agency and prescribed righteousness has left lasting marks on former and current members, particularly women and LGBTQ+ individuals, who internalized conflicting messages about their bodies, desires, and fundamental right to self-determination. Understanding this dynamic requires examining both official church doctrine and the lived experiences of those shaped by it.

The question at the heart of this issue is straightforward: Can a religious institution truly grant personal agency while simultaneously defining which desires are righteous and which are sinful? According to discussions on the Mormon Stories Podcast, the answer many members came to was no, and that realization has prompted broader conversations about religious trauma, sexual shame, and the long-term psychological effects of purity culture in faith communities.

Background: Mormon Sexual Ethics and the Theology of Control

The LDS Church's teachings on sexuality are rooted in nineteenth-century foundational texts and twentieth-century developments in church culture. Official doctrine emphasizes sexual relations as sacred within marriage, and condemns all sexual activity outside that covenant. But beyond the written word, Mormon culture developed an extensive informal curriculum around sexuality, one that often positioned desire itself as inherently dangerous.

Young women received explicit messaging through seminary lessons, sacrament meeting talks, and youth conferences. The metaphors were consistent: chastity was compared to a white dress that could never be cleaned once stained; masturbation was discussed in terms that suggested moral catastrophe; same-sex attraction was framed as a trial to be overcome rather than an aspect of identity to be integrated.