Telling Loved Ones about Losing Your Faith - Margi & John Dehlin Pt. 3 - Mormon Stories Ep. 1476c

When Faith Falters: How to Tell Loved Ones About Your Loss of Belief

The decision to share a loss of faith with loved ones is a seismic one, particularly within tightly-knit religious communities like the Mormon Church. It is not just about losing faith; it's about the impending shifts in key relationships. When a family member’s faith crumbles, the ripple effects can shake long-standing foundations. This conundrum was the focus of John and Margi Dehlin’s conversation in Episode 1476c of the Mormon Stories Podcast, which provides valuable insights into navigating these precarious waters.

Understanding Emotional Timing and Setting

A critical point John and Margi Dehlin emphasize is the importance of timing and setting when conveying a change in faith. Disclosing such a deeply personal change during periods of high stress or critical family events can exacerbate tensions. It is advisable to wait for a moment when both parties can approach the discussion with calm and receptivity. John Dehlin mentions that being certain about one's position on faith before initiating this conversation is ideal. This certainty allows for a more grounded and less reactive dialogue, making for a healthier exchange.

Assessing the Relationship Levels

Margi introduces a compelling framework during their discussion, highlighting the notion of assigning levels to relationships based on emotional intimacy and safety. Not all family ties are as close as one might assume, and recognizing this can prevent emotional missteps. For instance, speaking to a family member as if they were a confidante (level five intimacy) when in reality they are more of an acquaintance (level two intimacy) can lead to heartbreak. Understanding the true nature of these relationships helps ensure that discussions are appropriate and protective of one's emotional well-being.