Mormon Stories 1398: Contemplative Mormonism - Jana Spangler Pt. 1

The Contemplative Path: Jana Spangler on Faith, Doubt, and the Spiritual Middle Ground

What happens when a lifelong Mormon discovers that unwavering certainty might not be the only way to remain in the faith? In Mormon Stories Podcast episode 1398, host John Dehlin sits down with Jana Spangler, a faith coach and marriage counselor who works with individuals navigating faith crises, mixed-faith marriages, and the painful gap between doctrinal expectations and lived experience. Spangler's story, and her work with others, reveals a largely underdocumented phenomenon in Mormon communities: the possibility of remaining engaged with the Church while openly acknowledging doubt, intellectual friction, and theological questions. This conversation offers insights into how some modern Latter-day Saints are constructing a contemplative, intellectually honest form of Mormonism that departs sharply from the culture of certainty that has long dominated LDS religious identity.

The Formation of a Dutiful Believer

Spangler grew up in Holiday, Utah, in what she describes as a "not quite Mormon enough" household, a family that kept Mormon doctrine on the shelf but played cards, didn't hold regular family home evening, and didn't perform the ritual observances that marked more orthodox Mormon households. Yet rather than liberating her from religious expectation, this perceived deficit shaped a powerful aspiration. She gravitated toward the "very strong orthodox Mormons" she admired and resolved to become the kind of Mormon who "did everything right."

This childhood experience reveals a critical pattern in Mormon culture: the internalization of perfectionism. Spangler's parents, while nominally committed to the faith, inadvertently created in her a hunger for the more rigorous Mormon identity she felt her family lacked. She became an exceptional student, seminary graduate, and deeply inquisitive spiritual seeker, precisely the kind of person one might expect to have profound spiritual experiences. Yet they never came.

The Spiritual Experience That Never Arrived