1530: An Alternative Approach to New Year's Resolutions - Margi Dehlin

An Alternative Approach to New Year's Resolutions After Mormonism

January 11 falls at an odd intersection. The initial rush of New Year's resolutions has already cracked for many, particularly those carrying the specific weight of Mormon perfectionism. Margi Dehlin addressed this precise moment on the Mormon Stories Podcast, offering a framework that directly confronts how high-demand religious conditioning hijacks self-improvement into shame cycles. Her approach asks a pointed question: what if the problem is not your lack of willpower, but the very structure of the goals themselves?

The Problem with Traditional Goal Setting in Faith Transition

The episode, recorded on January 11, 2022, features Dehlin, a mental health professional, dissecting why standard resolution frameworks fail people emerging from faith crises. She identifies a pattern familiar to many post-Mormons: the abstinence violation effect, where one slip-up triggers total abandonment of the goal and a subsequent shame spiral. This pattern mirrors the all-or-nothing thinking reinforced by LDS cultural teachings about worthiness, obedience, and external validation.

Dehlin draws from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and research by John and Julie Gottman on relationships. She notes that Mormon cultural conditioning often teaches members to distrust internal signals in favor of external authority, whether from a mission president or correlated curriculum. The concept of the kingdom of God within becomes secondary to the checklist without. This creates what Dehlin calls the "fix-it" mentality, where goals emerge from inadequacy rather than self-honoring desire.

From Goals to Intentions: The Internal Shift